Navigating through a Long-Distance Relationship can be very challenging. Hence, it’s very likely that questioning your partner’s loyalty may have crossed your mind several times.
If you still have that question in mind, we suggest you continue reading on it.
What Is LDR?
LDR is short for Long Distance Relationships. A relationship falls under the label of “LDR” when romantic partners continue their relationship from different cities or even countries. They mostly communicate online and over the phone due to the long distance.
Despite common perceptions about LDRs failing due to infidelity, long-distance relationships are just as healthy as long as each partner is equally invested in the relationship.
Statistics for LDR cheating
We’ve all heard thousands of stories about infidelity in an LDR. We’ve heard/read numerous things about “signs girlfriend is cheating long-distance” or “signs boyfriend is cheating long distance,” but now we have proper insights on the prevalence of cheating in LDRs. These are some staggering stats on infidelity in Long Distance Relationships:
- Around 24% of LDR couples find staying faithful to their partner difficult.
- More than 40% of long-distance relationships fail.
- Meanwhile, 37% break off the relationship a few months after dating.
Now, these numbers may seem relatively high, but they’re the same in regular relationships as well. This suggests that the possibility of your significant other cheating is the same with both LDR & a regular one.
19 Long-Distance Relationship Signs of Cheating
If you’re suspicious of your partner and searching for signs, your long-distance boyfriend is cheating or signs of cheating girlfriend in a long-distance relationship; you’re in the right place. Down below, you’ll find a list of 19 points highlighting long-distance relationship cheating signs.
While we hope our list serves as both a warning sign & relationship advice, it’s essential to understand that these are collective traits. Hence, if your S/O (significant other) displays one or two signs now and then, it doesn’t necessarily indicate infidelity.
1. Your Partner Avoids Calls
It’s generally understandable if they don’t answer calls during office/business hours. However, if they constantly avoid your calls, there may be something more going on. Typically, when someone is cheating, they often fall under the pressure of lying to their partners; hence, they avoid their partners altogether.
It’s a different thing if they aren’t available now and then. But if you find them constantly making excuses and avoiding communicating over the cell phone, then you’ll have to dig deeper into it.
2. Lack of Communication
If you notice that your partner has strayed away from basic commination – especially if you checked in on each other regularly, it’s something worth looking into. It may not happen at once, but you might notice them pulling away slowly each day.
They no longer put in the same effort as before and seem disinterested. Of course, it’s crucial to understand that sometimes they might simply be tired, but it’s a concern when it becomes habitual behavior.
3. Your Partner Stops Flirting With You
It’s common for every couple to move past the constant flirting stage. But if you find your partner has completely stopped flirting, they may have a mister/mistress in their life.
However, keep in mind that simply because they don’t flirt every day doesn’t mean they’re cheating. Just try to see if they flirt back or seem interested.
4. You Find Them Being Dishonest
Does your partner give inconsistent details about their whereabouts or who they’re with? Do you find them forgetting about that “business meeting” they told you about when you bring it up?
Sure, they may seem like innocent mistakes, but it can also indicate that they have difficulty managing their lives. So, if they’re constantly dishonest, the relationship might be heading somewhere else.
5. They Cancel Plans Frequently
If they constantly cancel planned activities (e.g., watching a movie together online), it often implies they are not as interested in the relationship and perhaps prefer someone else’s company.
Although this isn’t one of those definite signs of cheating a boyfriend in a long-distance relationship or long-distance girlfriend cheating signs, it still leaves a ton of room for trust issues in the relationship.
6. You Find Them Keeping Secrets from You
This is one of those subtle signs she is cheating in a long-distance relationship/signs he is cheating in a long-distance relationship. You’ll start to see them being vague about stuff on purpose.
You may only hear about a trip they went on through mutual acquaintances or even uncover a secret account on a dating site. Whatever the situation, they will only provide a general overview or lie about it altogether.
7. They Get Angry or Defensive When Questioned
It’s not a good sign when you find your partner defensive and easily annoyed when questioned about specific behaviors that may bother/upset you – Especially when confronted about their lack of willingness to commit to the relationship.
If they have nothing to hide, they should be able to happily talk things out and reassure your doubts instead of making you feel guilty for confronting them.
8. Lack of Intimacy & Emotional Connection
From sexual to emotional, long distance can take its toll on the relationship. So, if you feel like yours is losing its momentum, then it’s time to reevaluate the relationship. It takes equal effort from both of you to strengthen the relationship.
However, if your partner falls behind, it indicates some trouble in paradise. A lack of intimacy doesn’t necessarily equate to infidelity, but it can be a possible barrier to staying faithful.
9. Sudden Change In Appearance
If you find your partner suddenly changing their appearance or putting too much effort into looking good, it may likely be to impress someone else. While you can encourage their newfound sense of self-care, you must also be open to the possibility that someone else other than you might be included in that “self-care.”
10. Unstable Mood
Is your partner extremely moody lately? Are they constantly on edge, almost as though they are hiding something? This unstable mood & tantrum around you is another sign indicating they no longer want or need you around them.
Now it’s important to account for your partner’s mental health. But if you find them constantly irked by the relationship, it can be them wanting an out.
11. They Take Too Much Time To Respond To Text Messages
Thanks to modern technology, online communication is what keeps most LDRs afloat. But what happens when your partner always seems “too busy” to even reply? You may even find yourself not receiving any more good morning or goodnight texts, let alone “how are you?”
Yes, they may truly be busy, but it leaves many holes in your relationship, especially when they don’t explain such behavior.
12. They Constantly Question You on Your Happiness
If you find your partner constantly questioning whether you’re happy with the relationship or not – it might not always be for the best of reason. Cheaters often repeatedly ask the question hoping that you will say no.
So, unless your partner is very insecure and constantly requires reassurance, they might be looking for a way out with the relationship.
13. Your Partner Shows No Interest in Meeting You Anytime Soon
Most LDR couples find comfort through the hope of seeing each other again and even living together sometime in the future. So, ideally, if you find your partner gradually losing interest in mapping out any future meet-ups, they probably have lost interest in you.
Again, this doesn’t entirely warrant infidelity, but if your partner is avoiding meeting you one-on-one, it’s not exactly a positive sign.
14. They Seem Rushed & Harried When Contacted
Communicating with your partner over the phone is expected in LDRs, and you may even surprise call them at times. However, if your partner always sounds strained or caught off-guard by that, it indicates a high chance of infidelity. In fact, they only seem relaxed when they’re calling you at their timing.
15. They Always Pick Fights on Small Things
If you find your partner constantly picking fights or get angry over minor things, it could mean that they have lost respect for you in the relationship. You can see them being easily agitated or angered by every small thing, but they never put the effort to talk it through.
This irritability hints that the relationship is heading into a risky zone. They pick arguments over small things as they are no longer interested but may lack the courage to end the relationship.
16. They Don’t Acknowledge The Relationship On Social Media
This is a different case if your partner has never been active on socials about personal matters. However, if they tend to use this as an excuse when questioned, and then you find them being active in a way that contradicts their excuse – they may be keeping your identity hidden.
Yes, it’s understandable if one doesn’t splatter their entire relationship on socials. But there are always specific hints one puts about not being single if they are truly committed to it.
17. Unexplained Expenses
This particular sign typically depends on you & your partner’s relationship status. It’s very unlikely to share personal expenses – especially finances if you’ve only started dating recently. However, if the relationship has reached the point of sharing expenses, you know where this is headed.
Now, if they have unexplained expenses frequently, those receipts may result from something more than just basic expenses.
18. Your Partner Refuses To Spend Time Through Video Calls
If they are cheating in LDR, initiating a video call with them is likely near to impossible. They will always bring up excuses about being busy, tired, or better yet; their camera is “broken.”
These excuses might be genuine sometimes, but if you constantly find every mode of connection – from texts to calls left unanswered, they intentionally make it difficult to reach them.
19. They No Longer Say “I Love You”
It’s pretty common for couples to become more casual and a little less affectionate once the honeymoon phase disappears. However, if your partner has altogether stopped saying that magical sentence – “I love you” or stopped bringing up future events such as marriage plans, there could be something or someone else stirring up the pot.
Long-Distance Relationship Cheating Quiz
Here are a few signs of a cheating wife quiz & vice versa for those in an LDR. We hope this brings a helpful end to our guide & your worries.
1. Do they go out without putting any word out with you?
C. Occasionally, but they’re honest about it if I ask.
2. Are they receiving regular text messages from unknown numbers?
B. No, I haven’t inspected their phone.
C-[. I check often, but they seem to be hidden/deleted.
3. Are they pulling away from the relationship?
A. Yes, we rarely talk now.
C. Feels like we’re somewhere in between.
4. Do they dodge questions about infidelity?
A. I haven’t asked any.
B. Yes, and they often get nervous.
C. No, they answer quickly & directly.
5. Are the fights more frequent now?
C. Yes, but I mostly initiate it.
Who is likely to cheat in a long-distance relationship?
Cheating is not a product of a specific gender. In an LDR or any normal relationship, the partner with stronger unfulfilled needs/desires – be it emotional or sexual is more likely to cheat.
What to do if your significant other is cheating during an LDR?
Figuring out infidelity during long distances is quite challenging because you only have your gut/instinct more often. However, if your gut can relate to the above signs, it’s time to address the issue with your partner.
Mark Wilson is a relationship coach and an author aged 39. He was born on May 12, 1983, in San Francisco, California, where he grew up in a middle-class family comprising his parents and two siblings. Wilson’s father was a renowned businessman, and his mother a homemaker. Mark went to the local high school in his hometown and later attended college at the University of California, Berkeley. He majored in psychology and also took some courses in relationship coaching.