It’s natural to have doubts about your partner when they change their behavior or start spending time with a coworker. It’s worth it to doubt the fidelity. In reality, there is a subtle sign that indicates their coworker’s cheating.
Why Do People Cheat With Coworkers?
- Ongoing problems in the current relationship
- Lack of sex drive with their present partner
- Feeling unsatisfied or bored with the present partner
- Lack of communication and affection creates a void, which is later on filled by having a single or even multiple affairs
So, from the aforementioned points, it’s quite easy to understand why an individual gets involved in a relationship with their coworker. Studies have shown that it’s quite an obvious option to have affairs with coworkers.
As per a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, “Most people who have extramarital sex do so with someone they know well.”
How Common Are Workplace Affairs?
Office affairs are certainly more common than we can even think. You must have seen someone complimenting them too much or spending more time than often in the cafeteria? Who knows, it may also be happening in their office. Even worse, your wife or husband is the culprit of the office romance everyone is gossiping about. I know it’s a scary thought, but frankly speaking, affairs with coworkers have become more common than ever.
About 12 percent of women and 21 percent of men reported cheating on their partners at a certain point. Besides, statistics show that 82.9 percent of individuals cheat on their spouses with a neighbor, close friend, long-term/well-known acquaintance, or coworker.
It is quite easy and convenient to get into an affair with the opposite gender when you are meeting with them every day at your workplace. Besides, personal communication over chatbox and phone call further ignite the bond. It’s not suspicious in the first instance, but a very likely option of having an affair with a coworker.
Top 15 Signs That Your Husband Or Wife Is Cheating With a Coworker
It’s difficult to understand the clear signs of cheating. And, certainly, you cannot express your doubt in everything. Without proper evidence, it’s never right to doubt your spouse. Let’s explore some common signs of cheating with a coworker:
1. Your Partner Gets All Dolled Up To Go To Work
Does your partner take extra effort to look great? Do they spend extra time and energy looking good while heading to the workplace? Have they recently even started visiting the gym and become concerned suddenly about their physique? Does your wife or girlfriend spend more time in the beauty parlor?
If all of a sudden you see major changes in their dressing style, certainly there is something wrong. Wearing branded attractive clothes and using expensive perfume, gives a clear indication of infidelity. Of course, there is nothing wrong with self-care. But if it’s a sudden phenomenon and uncharacteristic of them, your doubts about your partner having an affair with a coworker will soon be discovered.
2. Your Spouse Acts Weird When Asked About Work Colleagues
Do they act weirdly when you ask about their colleagues? Does your partner get angry unnecessarily and not want to discuss anything about his colleagues? Well, that’s not natural. Discussing colleagues, their problems, and life with your better half is common. But if someone gets fired up just because you are asking about their colleagues’ welfare, something is wrong! These are clear signs your husband is cheating with a coworker. A person behaves unnaturally when he or she tries to hide his or her misconduct.
3. Your Spouse Talks About a Career Change
Was your spouse enjoying their career and thinking about reaching the top position to fulfill their dreams, but now suddenly talking about changing in career plan? Maybe they want to change their career so that they can get more time in their new office colleague.
4. Your Partner Starts Talking About Threesome
A threesome is not something good, and also not acceptable in a proper society. In a relationship, there is certainly no space for the third person. If your partner has recently started talking about a threesome or enjoying films with this concept, these are certain signs he’s cheating on you at work. Sometimes, due to responsibility, it becomes impossible to leave their spouse despite having an extramarital affair. In this scenario, the concept of a threesome pops up!
5. There’s a Growing Emotional Distance Between You
If there is no emotional touch between you and your partner, you should try to find out the reason. Emotional distance is natural when one of the partners is involved in an extramarital affair. If she no longer makes breakfast for you in the morning or gives you a goodbye kiss before leaving home, something is unnatural and these may be signs of cheating wife at work. Does she no longer bother to text you during lunchtime? Does she live in her world where she cannot just tolerate your presence? It’s a clear indication that she is involved in an extramarital affair.
6. Your Partner Starts Texting All The Time And Says It’s ‘Work Stuff’
Technology has made us slaves and throughout the day we have to dig into our mobiles and laptops to complete the work. But certainly, there is a limit to everything, isn’t it? It cannot be like even after office hours you are constantly working on your laptop or mobile. One of the most prominent cheating with co-worker signs is if your partner recently started spending more time on his/her phone and constantly messaging with the lame excuse of “work stuff?” Even if you ask them, they start showing irritation. It’s a sure shot that they are having an affair.
7. Your Wife Or Husband Is Hesitant To Take You To Company Events And Parties
Husband or wife cheating with co-worker signs also get confirmed when they never ask you to accompany them while visiting office parties and events? Most of the time your partner especially male, takes her male coworkers and gives excuses that you do not have the right dresses to visit such parties or you will be unable to carry yourself in such events? Well, you need to be a little more cautious. It’s a green signal that he is already involved with his office colleague.
8. Your Partner Starts Leaving For Work Extra Early
The one who could not get out of the bed before 8 o’clock is now getting ready and leaving for work before 8 A.M? Even after spending sleepless nights on mobile, he looks fresh while going to the office? It can be a signal of meeting with his office sweetie, which gives him a spark of fire to look his best. You must not ignore these signs husband is cheating with coworker.
According to the study of coauthor Mark Whisman who is a professor of psychology at the University of Colorado, “With respect to relationship factors, the association between lower relationship satisfaction and extramarital sex is a well-established finding.”
9. Spouse Makes More Business Trips
If you see that your partner is often going on business trips, it means there is something not right. We all have to go on business trips once or twice a month, but frequent trips like twice a week are not normal. If you see this behavior in your spouse, it’s advisable to fit a spy camera in their mobile phones to track their locations and whereabouts. Hiring a private detective can also help you to reach a clear conclusion.
10. Co-Workers Gossip And Spread Rumors Of Relationship
Rumors do not always have to be wrong. Of course, not all rumors are to be taken care of. But when you and both of you are working in the same office or you both have a common friend, hearing about such rumors is common, if arise. Try to go in-depth to find out the real cause behind it. Coworker affairs are common, do look for the signs before taking steps.
11. They Often Meet With Their Colleagues After Work
Meeting office colleagues after work offers refreshment. But when you find your partner meeting with a particular colleague every day after work in the name of business conversation or project discussion, it is a signal that they are dating. You can even see that it is followed by exchanging pictures over the phone and constantly chatting on the messenger. Be cautious, you will soon get to discover their true colors!
12. Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend Does Not Want You To Come To His Office
Does he or she use to ask you to drop you at the office while you are going to your workplace? But now he feels irritated when you want to drop them at their office? Does your wife or girlfriend never ask you to pick her up, even when both of you work at the same office location? Does he or she get angry whenever you ask her or him to visit their office and then leave for a movie together? Well, it indicates that your partner does not want you to come near their office because this is cheating in the workplace signs and fears that his or her misdeeds will come into the limelight.
13. Work Takes Priority Over Your Relationship
We know work is important, but not over the relationship, isn’t it? We work to meet the needs and demands of our family members. We work to live a great family life. But when you see that work is taking more priority over your relationship, try to find out the real cause behind it. We work for the happiness of our family. But when you see that your partner is making work as an excuse, pull up your sleeves and be ready to discover their office affair.
14. Your Spouse Wants To Go On Vacation With His Or Her Coworkers
We all love to spend time with our partners and children. If you have previously gone to several vacation spots with your partner who is now least interested to go with you anywhere, then definitely they are going out with someone else. If you find them more interested in going on vacation with their coworker, it means your spouse is up to something.
15. Your Partner Started Using Perfume Even Though He Had Never Used It
Using perfume is nice. But all of a sudden investing in branded perfume to smell good is not worth it, isn’t it? If you find that your wife has started purchasing branded perfume every week, and is always decked up while heading for the workplace, signs she is cheating at work.
More Signs Your Partner Is Cheating With A Colleague
Some of the key signs your spouse is cheating with a coworker and have to be addressed are:
- Sleeping in another room
- Not allowing you to touch the phone
- Changing the passwords of social sites (Facebook, Instagram, etc.)
- Obsessively talks about her male coworker
- Arguments become dramatic
- Less interest in household affairs
What Should I Do If My Spouse Cheated?
Cheating has become common today. If your spouse cheated on you, handle the situation with patience. Sometimes it becomes very difficult to maintain calmness in such a crucial situation. However, if you want to keep your current relationship, you must address the matter with tact.
Putting Yourself First
When your spouse cheats on you, couples do prefer to give you another chance instead of ending the relationship for once and altogether. There is no pressure and you have the right to take your own decisions. Whatever your decision be, the court will always be with you.
Do not come under the pressure or influence of someone else; give the priority to yourself. It’s your life, no one has the right to take your decision. Ask yourself, what you want! Ask yourself, if you want to be with a traitor anymore!
Can Couples Therapy Help With Cheating?
Dealing with the aftermath of an extramarital affair is hard. The feeling that your beloved husband or wife has betrayed you is devastating. But fortunately, now you are not alone to deal with it. Couple therapy can be a perfect solution to deal with this problem. Couples counseling therapy or marriage counseling for infidelity is the only answer if you want to keep up with your relationship after facing the trouble of an extramarital affair with your spouse.
Final Words: Listen To That Inner Voice, But Don’t Blindly Follow Its Advice
In a nutshell, cheating with coworkers is common. And, do not ignore your gut feelings. When we have instincts, certainly it’s because you have seen or faced something that bounds you to suspect your spouse. Listen to your intuition, and take steps to the demand of the situation.
Daniela Gilbert is a relationship psychologist and author aged 31. She has a degree in clinical psychology from the University of Southern California and a social psychology Master’s and Ph.D. from the University of California, Santa Barbara. She is currently a postdoctoral fellow at UCSB.